Food Beast

Archive for March 2010

Last week at work my friends and I hosted a breakfast.  I know it makes us sound really nice, but we are not that nice….it was just our turn.  Different departments host a breakfast each month and this month is was time for the specialists and the kindergarten teachers to host.

So everyone brings something in, then everyone stuffs their face…it’s a good time.  Anyway, this woman Frances makes the most amazing crumb cake I have ever tasted in my 29 years on this planet.  (She also makes amazing bark…I can never replicate her recipes as much as I try…and trust me, I try.)  So, at breakfast I took a piece of crumb cake, as well as, a quarter of a bagel with butter, fruit, and some quiche…yeah, I don’t mess around when it comes to these things.

So, I went and taught some small children to read then came back to the faculty room to eat my lunch.  There were a few other teachers sitting there finishing lunch.  There was still food out from the morning breakfast so I decided to pick at some of the food that was left over.  I saw that the crumb cake tray was still there….WOO HOO!!!  I went over to the table to get a piece and I saw that SOMEONE HAD LEFT THE TRAY ON THE TABLE AND IT WAS EMPTY!!!  Who in the hell does that….with Frances’ crumb cake. Throw out the damn tray and don’t tease the rest of us with the empty tray!  I picked up the tray and I see that there are tons of crumbs left…which are the best part.  I am showing the tray to the other people in the room and Sara said, “The crumbs are the best part…just eat it.”  Now normally if I were at home, I would get a spoon and eat the leftover crumbs from the tray.  Oh….well that is exactly what I did.  Paul looked at me and said, “I wish I had a camera to take a picture of this right now.”  It was pretty gross, BUT delicious at the same time.  So, I ate what was left of the crumb cake and talked to about four other people that came into the faculty room and TWO of the people were close friends at work.  It was not until I was leaving the faculty room that one of the women that works in the main office said to me, “Oh dear, you have a little powdered sugar on your face.”  Well, isn’t that a fine how-do-you-do?  NO one else told me I had powdered sugar on my face.  Thanks.  Thanks a lot people.

Now, one would think that after I stuffed my face at breakfast and then again at lunch, I would gain some self-control and get a handle on the food-intake situation….but, c’mon now.

Now….on Thursday afternoon, my friend Sue was telling us about this “Crack Pie” that she had heard about on television.  Apparently Anderson Cooper is obsessed with it and was raving about it on Regis and Kelly.

Of course we googled that shit and were like, “We NEED to have this pie!”  So, my friend Karen had her poor husband Pat running all over NYC to get this damn pie for us.   Let me tell you, it did not disappoint.  The pie contains butter, heavy cream, brown sugar, sugar, and a little corn flour and it was worth the 8 weight watcher points.  You read that right, 8 points.

Karen and beasts...unless it is weigh-in day!

Karen and I both had a slice, while Sue, Pam, and Maria each shared.  Pat also picked up some compost cookies for us.  We consumed all of our desserts in about 5 minutes flat…can we say…PIGS?  I was sad that I could not enjoy the cookies because I gave up chocolate for Lent and these cookies contains pretzels, potato chips, butterscotch chips, and, yes, chocolate chips.  The girls said they were good, so I will have to have Pat pick me some up once Lent is over!